Once a staple of my online ritual, personality quizzes were an early way for a young me to both reflect on and display my identity to the world. It's been years, definitely more than a decade, maybe two, since I bothered to question which homunculus I most relate with (Envy, of course) or which color M&M best represents my inner psyche.

However, this page isn't meant to ponder which of the three Powerpuff Girls are at helm in the slowly sinking ship that is my mind. For better or worse, the ways in which I stroke my ego have changed. Since this website is, after all, in service of that ego, expect it to be stroked. And as a heavily disillusioned leftie living through an ongoing, fascist coup, nothing quite massages my self-worth like a good political quiz.

Below you'll find my results and answers to a number of common ones as well as non-political quizzes that serve to illustrate something meaningful about my particular, though not entirely unique, personal operating system (POS).

Feel free to scroll through or choose an entry from the table of contents below. A small word of caution: I make liberal and cathartic use of 'fuck' and other curse words in the commentary accompanying my results. Reader discretion is advised.

— Two-Reeler, 3 Aug. 2025

First up is the OG. Over two decades old & counting, many educated people have likely heard of or have taken The Political Compass at least once, either out of curiosity or possibly even as part of their formal education. I've even assigned it to my students.

This test is sometimes treated as an objective, non-biased tool for helping a person better understand their beliefs & assisting in the formation of their ideology. It's not that. Criticism abounds, & most serious observers view it with little more esteem than your typical personality quiz. If you'd like a quick primer on its issues, the YouTube channel Second Thought has a good video detailing its problems from a socialist perspective: “The Political Compass Sucks...& What's Better.”

To put it bluntly, it has a liberal bias, & I don't mean the sort of bias the mouth-breathers shout when attacking trans rights, people of color, or whatever reactionary brain rot they've latched onto for the duration of that day. What I mean is a bias that separates our political thought into business & government, economy & authority. These are false dichotomies. I won't go into great detail--see Second Thought's video for that--but it relies on us making a distinction between corporations, think private industry, & the government. The bigger the governement, the more authoritarian a state is, and the smaller the governement, the more libertarian it is. However, under capitalism, there is no meaningful distinction. While the government is the subject of most people's ire, in America & to a similar, if lesser extent, in other parts of the Global North, the government acts in deference to the interests of capital. Capitalists & the corporations they hide behind are our authoritarians.

Don't get it. Think for moment. Upset about taxes? A hate of taxes appears to be one of the only political thoughts seriously held among most Americans. They see the money leave their account but see little from the government in return as our infrastrure ages and our population sufferes from paycheck to paycheck with no signs of salvation. If the money weren't primarily pissed away to warlords and arms dealers, perhaps opinions would differ. As it stands, however, the governement and its taxes are the obvious enemy to many. But what about all the fees forced on us by private banks, insurance companies, landlords, & the hyperparasitism of the industries that feed off their carnage--think credit collectors, loan sharks, rent-to-own stores, & even credit card companies. What about the cost of maintaining a car? How about the cost to fill it with gasoline, the burning of which is contributing to the rapid warming of our planet. Wouldn't it be preferable if we could move about without being beholden to industries that are actively upending the Earth's life support systems? What about your job? Are you truly free to do as you please, or are you chained for eight hours a day & made to smile as you're degraded & abused by people who view your suffering as an inevitability of life? They may even take pride in it. While not everyone's reality within this system, this is the world that many of us inhabit. Living at the whims of the market & the ghouls who profit from it does not make us free. We are captive consumers. Our freedom is illusory.

But I digress. If I think this about the framework employed by The Political Compass, then why would I assign it to my students & why am I covering it here? Well, while the results may not be a true identification of one's ideology, I do think its propositions are worth reviewing & considering, especially to those who haven't meaningfully considered these ideas before. I also just find taking tests like these to be fun, regardless of whether the result has any real application or not.

Below you'll find my results. They've remained remarkably consistent since high school. Depending on how closely your views mesh with mine, this could either signal that my beliefs are consistent, well-reasoned, and principled, or you might think I've stunted myself. I, of course, perfer to think its the former. Following the results are my answers along with commentary discussing my choices. I'll leave it to you to consider how well-reasoned my thoughts are.

Click here to read my answers & commentary.

Strongly Disagree	Disagree	Agree	Strongly Agree

Proposition	Answer	Commentary
If economic globalisation is inevitable, it should primarily serve humanity rather than the interests of trans-national corporations.		Duh. Though I have a difficult time imagining how economic globalization will ever benefit humanity. To me, it's clearly just an excuse to rape and defile our planet of its "resources." Even referring to the life that inhabits the Earth with such a glib, sanitized term, gives me the ick.
I'd always support my country, whether it was right or wrong.		Fuck the USA. Sincerely.
No one chooses their country of birth, so it's foolish to be proud of it.		US global hegemony is the greatest threat to peace on this planet. To be a proud American is to be blind.
Our race has many superior qualities, compared with other races.		Fuck white supremacy and all who hold that rot in their heart.
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.		As a leftist living in America, I can't help but take this stance. For example, the Democratic Party has been just as thoroughly captured by capital as the Republican Party. They're just not explicit Christo-fascists like the Republicans. Though, they still do little more than throw us scraps as capital has its way with our planet. Nevertheless, keeping Democrats in power is still highly preferable to living under GOP control. I'll take scraps and at least the illusion of possibility over nothing and a path to the camps.
Military action that defies international law is sometimes justified.		Military action is almost never justified. It is an excuse for our ruling class to fatten their coffers and increase their control over the population. Read Smedley Butler's War is a Racket for a clear understanding of what war is for, straight from the mouth of one of the most decorated Marines to ever serve in the U.S. military.
There is now a worrying fusion of information and entertainment.		I worry that even this question expects too much of the entertainment consumed by many Americans. I recently watched as my uncle sat and scrolled through a barrage of 5-second reels filled with every expletive under the sun, with as many different sounds of different people shitting. A worrying degree of the entertainment consumed in this country is without any meaningful information whatsoever. The popularity of the term brain rot needs no explanation.
People are ultimately divided more by class than by nationality		Without a doubt. I have no beef with workers in China, Russia, Iran, Korea or whatever nation the US wishes us to despise next. I will never take up arms against another sad sap forced into conscription. I take the command, “Workers of the world, unite!” very seriously.
Controlling inflation is more important than controlling unemployment.		I'm not an economist, nor have I ever taken an economics class; however, it seems plain to me that controlling unemployment, that is, ensuring everyone has a way to occupy their time in a fulfilling and meaningful manner, is far more important. Our economy is a made-up system designed to allow the most gluttonous among us to rape our planet with impunity. If we strictly control our consumption of the planet's finite resources, I'm not sure inflation would be a concern, at least not in the way it is now with our highly parasitic ruling class chomping at our jugulars.
Because corporations cannot be trusted to voluntarily protect the environment, they require regulation.		There's been a nearly 70% loss in global biodiversity since 1970. Insect populations have been declining by nearly 2.5% per year, resulting in a 75% reduction over the past 50 years. Humans and our livestock now constitute 96% of the mammalian biomass currently alive, while poultry make up 71% of avian biomass. We're releasing carbon at a rate 200 times faster than the volcanic eruptions that caused some of Earth's worst mass extinctions. Consequently, we're adding the equivalent of 7 atomic bombs worth of energy to our oceans every second. We're long past this being a question. The damage these corporations have caused our planet will persist for millennia.
“from each according to his ability, to each according to his need” is a fundamentally good idea.		This was legitimately my senior quote in my high school yearbook nearly 15 years ago 0_0
The freer the market, the freer the people.		I covered this in the introduction. Again, a free market just places power in private hands. The people are no freer under the freest market than they are under any other system that privileges the few over the many.
It's a sad reflection on our society that something as basic as drinking water is now a bottled, branded consumer product.		Not just water. Everything. Humans have no legitimate right to destroy the life that inhabits this planet in service of our convenience. We pay no mind to the animals, plants, fungi, and other lifeforms--even entire habitats--raised solely to feed our gluttony. We're a sick species. I'll add, with the bottling of water and the packaging of much of these resources, these corporations are also leeching toxins-- microplastics, PFAS, and other chemicals--into resources vital to our existence. Our rulers are literally insane.
Land shouldn't be a commodity to be bought and sold.		Same reasoning as the previous answer. These ghouls have no right.
It is regrettable that many personal fortunes are made by people who simply manipulate money and contribute nothing to their society.		Without a doubt. These jobs serve no purpose but to act as parasites.
Protectionism is sometimes necessary in trade.		Globalization doesn't serve the working class. It acts as an opportunity for corporations to defang workers in the Global North by exploiting workers in the Global South. Countries without meaningful labor protections are able to undercut those with strong unions and higher pay. Allowing the offshoring of American manufacturing is one of the major reasons for the United States' decline. When the rich chase profit, we lose.
The only social responsibility of a company should be to deliver a profit to its shareholders.		I've touched on this in earlier comments. This mindset is destroying the planet.
The rich are too highly taxed.		LMFAO.
Those with the ability to pay should have access to higher standards of medical care.		Where did they get the ability to pay for the higher standard of medical care? Extreme wealth is rarely accumulated without exploiting someone or something. These ghouls have no actual right to the wealth that allows this. Regardless, healthcare should not be commoditized. Our industries--healthcare is no exception--are all littered with parasites. Excise the insurance companies, the hospital administrators, the pharmaceutical reps, the advertising agencies--all the superfluous leeches draining our pockets whenever we have the audacity to be unwell--and good medical care will no longer be a privilege afforded only to the richest among us.
Governments should penalise businesses that mislead the public.		They should be doing a lot more than just penalizing them. Nationalize them. Without exception, they all mislead the public.
A genuine free market requires restrictions on the ability of predator multinationals to create monopolies.		I disagree with this on a technicality. I would certainly prefer to live under a market system with restrictions and regulations than one without; however, to say that a free market is only “genuine” with these restrictions is just an attempt to reform a system that will never facilitate true freedom for any but the greediest among us.
Abortion, when the woman's life is not threatened, should always be illegal.		I'm an antinatalist. I am opposed to breeding--both in humans and in our domestics. Our levels of consumption cannot be sustained. Abortion is a commonsense tool to keep our numbers within a reasonable parameter. It should be legal for whatever reason the mother desires so long as the fetus is non-viable outside of the womb. I am against coerced or forced abortion, however. A woman should be allowed to make the decision that is right for her. No one else, not even her husband, should have any say in this manner. Her body, her decision. Education and cultural shifts would likely go a long way to normalizing abortion as a humane and necessary method of birth control as our planet becomes ever more hostile to life.
All authority should be questioned.		Unequivocally. That's not to say that all authorities are wrong, but no one should take the word of authority figures based on authority alone. The hierarchical structures that permeate our society are, more often than not, baseless. Many authorities have no business having authority to begin with. Always question who they are, where their power comes from, and the validity of the claims that they are peddling.
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.		Violence merely begets more violence. Mind you, I'm not a strict pacifist. As JFK was famously quoted, "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." However, this mindset is often used to justify atrocities committed by those who hold power. See the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and the West's ongoing genocide of the Palestinians for examples. When a cornered and abused animal attacks, who is at fault? Hint: it's not the animal.
Taxpayers should not be expected to prop up any theatres or museums that cannot survive on a commercial basis.		Taxpayers should not be expected to fund our rulers' rapacious wars. The arts are among the best uses of our tax dollars. Forcing art to rely on commercial success would only further the homogenization of our culture. Give me weird, largely unprofitable shit, or give me death.
Schools should not make classroom attendance compulsory.		As a teacher, I feel conflicted with this. Our schools are not what they used to be. Students are increasingly without joy or desire. Many are so phone and media addicted that even older teenagers throw tantrums when separation is imposed. I truly feel their education is hopeless. They resent any attempt we make to teach them. They are miserable, and I hate being the person enforcing their captivity. However, children need guidance. Allowing them to make critical life decisions, ones that will reverberate for years to come, is, I think, a form of societal negligence. We are failing these kids by allowing tech companies to entrap and abuse them for ad revenue. We must do something. Anything.
All people have their rights, but it is better for all of us that different sorts of people should keep to their own kind.		We know where this mentality leads. This is called “apartheid.” The only people with this mindset are those with power and privilege they'd rather not share with others.
Good parents sometimes have to spank their children.		If you must resort to violence to correct your child, then you've failed as a parent, just as a state that imposes violence on its people is a failed state. Children's actions and behaviors cannot be viewed in isolation. Bratty kids were failed by their caregivers somewhere along the line.
It's natural for children to keep some secrets from their parents.		This is a fact. Nothing to argue with. People that think otherwise are delusional.
Possessing marijuana for personal use should not be a criminal offence.		It's far less harmful than many legal substances. The Drug War is a tool of our oppression, nothing more.
The prime function of schooling should be to equip the future generation to find jobs.		This mindset is one of the reasons our schools have become such miserable places. Kids should care about learning because the world we inhabit is incredible. Most jobs serve no real function other than to enrich the bosses or to satisfy some arbitrary rules imposed by bureaucrats attempting to assuage public concerns while doing nothing at all to meaningfully address them. Schools should be instilling a love of learning for learning's sake. Wage slavery isn't a substitution for living.
People with serious inheritable disabilities should not be allowed to reproduce.		I don't believe any government should be forbidding consenting adults from reproducing. However, and I should preface this by saying that I am well aware of the sordid history of eugenics and am staunchly opposed to any direct government interference in human biological practices, but I do believe that education should be provided to the population that arms those with these disabilities with knowledge of the risks their reproducing could pose to potential offspring and offer them options to fulfil their parental desires in other ways, like adoption. Our society puts far too much importance on parenthood. I can understand why someone might desire a child despite the risk of passing on a debilitating disability--conditioning is hard to ignore--however, it doesn't make bringing a life into this planet so that it may suffer just to fulfill a role that was imposed upon you from infancy any less thoughtless. Communities are made up of all types of people who contribute. Not all of them are biological parents. As is said, “It takes a village to raise a child.” We need to change how our culture views childrearing. Children are not the belongings of their parents. They are not mini-mes born to distract from one's mortality. They are conscious beings entirely separate from their parents, with their own needs and desires. It's time we treat them that way.
The most important thing for children to learn is to accept discipline.		That's how you end up with an easily controlled population--a recipe for fascism.
There are no savage and civilised peoples; there are only different cultures.		I said “Strongly Agree” here, but only because of the usual framing. I actually do think there are savages, but it's not the indigenous tribes who typically suffer that moniker. No, the savages are the Europeans who coined the “Age of Discovery” and spread out across the planet raping, pillaging, infesting, and conquering whatever they laid eyes upon. The dominant culture of our people, what Daniel Quinn refers to as the “mother culture” is the mind of a savage.
Those who are able to work, and refuse the opportunity, should not expect society's support.		This is just an excuse for capitalists to force us to labor for them. It’s a way to shame us into submission. I grew up in rural Appalachia, a place with many hardworking, but otherwise clueless individuals who take pride in their exploitation. Like a lot of rural Americans, many Appalachians will lionize the virtues of labor even as it kills them. Anyone who is without work, suffering from addiction, or even disabled quickly becomes the bud of jokes and condescension.
When you are troubled, it's better not to think about it, but to keep busy with more cheerful things.		Ignoring your problems just allows them to fester. Look at where we are in America circa 2025. We are living through what looks so far to be a fairly successful, fascist coup. We've known what the Christo-fascists were planning for decades. And still, here we are. Ignore crises long enough, and they will eventually boil over.
First-generation immigrants can never be fully integrated within their new country.		Who cares about integration? Immigrants shouldn't integrate or assimilate. This country is only bearable thanks to cultural imports brought to its shore via its many immigrants. They are the lifeblood of America.
What's good for the most successful corporations is always, ultimately, good for all of us.		I've already covered similar questions. These corporations are actively driving the Earth's 6th mass extinction. The only good they can do is to close up shop.
No broadcasting institution, however independent its content, should receive public funding.		We fund these institutions with our taxes as a public good. The only people who argue against this are the rich wishing to divert these funds to their own ventures and the fools they continue to fool.
Our civil liberties are being excessively curbed in the name of counter-terrorism.		War does that. Wartime is almost always an excuse to crack down on civil liberties. The US government does nearly nothing solely for the benefit of its people.
A significant advantage of a one-party state is that it avoids all the arguments that delay progress in a democratic political system.		True. I'm not certain I desire to live under a one-party state, especially in the United States where that party is likely to be fascist, but it's undeniable that unity and the pace of action are major advantages. China, for example, is quickly surpassing the United States. I'm sure it being a one-party state contributes to its meteoric rise in recent years.
Although the electronic age makes official surveillance easier, only wrongdoers need to be worried.		This isn't an argument. It's simply an excuse given to us by people who wish to spy on us.
The death penalty should be an option for the most serious crimes.		Punishment should focus on rehabilitation and care. There are no doubt some people who are so warped that they cannot reenter the general population, but the state has no right to end their lives. Not to mention, there's always the possibility of innocence. Killing even one innocent person in pursuit of vengeance should be unacceptable to us all.
In a civilised society, one must always have people above to be obeyed and people below to be commanded.		There's nothing civilized about hierarchy. Quite the opposite. Hierarchy facilitates oppression and exploitation.
Abstract art that doesn't represent anything shouldn't be considered art at all.		Blanket statements of exclusion like this one come from stupid, thoughtless people. Art can take many different forms and have countless interpretations. The more abstract a work, the vaster its possibilities.
In criminal justice, punishment should be more important than rehabilitation.		Our focus on punishment over rehabilitation is why our recidivism rates are so high in the US. If prisons must exist, they should be about preparing individuals to return to society. But of course, our prison system represents a multibillion-dollar industry. Rehabilitation will never be the priority so long as the crooks facilitating this system can capitalize on inmates' suffering.
It is a waste of time to try to rehabilitate some criminals.		It's never a waste of time to help people better themselves. We all exist on this planet with varying levels of confusion. We should be working together to enhance our understanding of the world and all that inhabit it. Mindsets like this one take hold in those consumed by fear and hatred. These are not healthy opinions to have.
The businessperson and the manufacturer are more important than the writer and the artist.		The businessperson and the manufacturer are driving our planet's destruction. They act as a cancer, slowly spreading and killing the Earth. We need many fewer of these ghouls and many more writers and artists who can inspire humanity to action against the system at war with the Earth.
Mothers may have careers, but their first duty is to be homemakers.		Careers are overrated, but mothers can play whatever role they wish in their family. Same for fathers. Gender has no bearing on how we love and care for each other.
Almost all politicians promise economic growth, but we should heed the warnings of climate science that growth is detrimental to our efforts to curb global warming.		I'm not aware of a single politician who treats climate change with the seriousness it demands. We're living through a multifaceted crisis that to address in any meaningful way would require a level of global collaboration never before seen in our species' history, not even during both World Wars. I have no hope for the future of our planet or of humanity.
Making peace with the establishment is an important aspect of maturity.		You don't make peace with your oppressors.
Astrology accurately explains many things.		lol
You cannot be moral without being religious.		lol
Charity is better than social security as a means of helping the genuinely disadvantaged.		This isn't even debatable. A preference for charity is just a means for the rich to avoid the high taxes necessary of them to fund social safety nets. Charity is a lot cheaper for them and far less effective for those in need.
Some people are naturally unlucky.		Sounds like a deflection meant to excuse excessive poverty existing beside obscene wealth.
It is important that my child's school instills religious values.		Schools should instill critical thinking so that children may shed their baseless and regressive religious values.
Sex outside marriage is usually immoral.		We're animals. This sort of thinking is insane, harmful, and frankly, embarrassing.
A same sex couple in a stable, loving relationship should not be excluded from the possibility of child adoption.		Queer people make excellent parents. I won't say this is true for all, but it's certainly the case that queer people are far more accepting of differences, and all kids need accepting and loving parents to be the best version of themselves they can be.
Pornography, depicting consenting adults, should be legal for the adult population.		“For the adult population,” is the key phrase here. We badly need to find a way to keep kids from consuming copious amounts of objectifying pornography. Elementary school teachers are reporting classroom choruses of young boys faking female orgasms. It's disgusting and it's giving these kids horrible views on sex and women. I should also add that the porn industry, like any, needs to be strictly regulated to ensure the health and safety of the workers. That is not the porn industry as it currently exists.
What goes on in a private bedroom between consenting adults is no business of the state.		No doubt. Only fascist fucks care about this.
No one can feel naturally homosexual.		This is the claim of someone living in a fantasy. There are over 13.9 million queer people in the USA. That's the evidence. That's reality. Just because someone refuses to believe someone else's lived experience doesn't make them any less delusional.
These days openness about sex has gone too far.		I'm no prude. However, children should not have access to the hardcore, objectifying content that they scroll through daily. If I'm being honest, a lot of this content is little more than the exploitation of women. It is not liberation. It is objectification. It is commodification. That said, women should be free to present their bodies and/or their sexualities however they please. No one, certainly not men, have any right to say otherwise.

Next up is 8values, a relative newcomer to the world of the political quiz. I'm going into this one mostly blind, save for the information provided on the website. Unlike the Political Compass which attempts to measure one's ideology along two axes--economic and social--8values offers four--economic, diplomatic, civil, and societal. It also nearly doubles its sample size with a whopping 70 questions.

8values' reputation online appears to be fairly positive, but I haven't done much other than skim a few Reddit threads. Based on the axes provided, I have some idea of my likely results. For economic I expect “equality,” for diplomatic “globe,” for civil “liberty,” and for societal “progress.” The quiz also claims to match you to a political ideology. I'm curious where it will peg me. One other change with this quiz is the inclusion of a neutral stance. You'll notice I'm a bit cynical on the idea of maintaining neutrality on anything given the confused emoji I drew for that option. However, I've yet to take the quiz. I may find myself using it.

You'll find my results, questions, answers, and commentary below. I'll also include some comments after the questions discussing my thoughts on the quiz after I've taken it.

Click here to read my answers & commentary.

Strongly Disagree	Disagree	Neutral	Agree	Strongly Agree

Statements	Answer	Commentary
Oppression by corporations is more of a concern than oppression by governments.		I almost chose neutral for this one; however, as an American, our oppression is largely facilitated by corporations and the politicians they control through lobbying and donations. I can certainly imagine a situation where a government acts as oppressively as our corporations without the influence of capital, and indeed, our own government often acts in oppressive ways, but it does so at the behest of our ruling class. I guess what I'm saying is that under capitalism, there is very little practical difference between the corporation and the government. The latter yields to the former.
It is necessary for the government to intervene in the economy to protect consumers.		If we must live under capitalism, Intervention against capitalists should be one of the primary functions of the government. The government should work for the people, not in service of the rich.
The freer the markets, the freer the people.		It baffles me that people continue to believe this. The freer the market, the more cannibalistic its participants are. Without regulation, corporations merely grow and consolidate power, acting as a cancer does, growing until they collapse the system or are forcibly brought under control by the people. We saw this in the American Gilded Age. We are seeing it today as we suffer through late-stage capitalism.
It is better to maintain a balanced budget than to ensure welfare for all citizens.		This mindset just leads to austerity for the masses and excess for the wealthy. The rich control the coffers and plunge us into debt largely for their benefit. Let them suffer the consequences of their actions.
Publicly-funded research is more beneficial to the people than leaving it to the market.		Not everything needs to be for profit. For example, curing illnesses is not as profitable as treating them. If the profit motive is the main driver for research, the goal won't be finding a cure but instead enriching the funders.
Tariffs on international trade are important to encourage local production.		I'm not going to pretend to know a huge amount about tariffs, nor do I want to give the impression of supporting Donald Trump's colossal fuck ups, but considering how capitalists exploit workers in countries with poor regulations and pay, we need something to discourage the offshoring of manufacturing. Tariffs can be a useful tool in that regard.
From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.		Again, this was my senior quote in high school. It's a good, common sense rule to live by.
It would be best if social programs were abolished in favor of private charity.		What, so we can return to the hell that Dicken's writes about where the poor are forced to beg for fear of being forced into the workhouse?
Taxes should be increased on the rich to provide for the poor.		Sounds like good policy to me. The rich have no need for the wealth that they hoard. Hell, If I had any say, there would be no rich.
Inheritance is a legitimate form of wealth.		Personal possessions are one thing. Want to pass your Blu-ray collection down to you're children? Knock yourself out. However, no one should be allowed to inherit, much less own, necessary infrastructure and land. Private ownership of crucial resources and societal necessities should be abolished.
Basic utilities like roads and electricity should be publicly owned.		Same point as the pervious comment. Private ownership of crucial resources and societal necessities should be abolished. In a just world, individuals would not have any right to stake such claims.
Government intervention is a threat to the economy.		The economy is a threat to all life on Earth. It exists so that thoughtless apes can stupefy themselves by watching imaginary numbers increase as we destroy, extract, and commodify all life and material on this planet.
Those with a greater ability to pay should receive better healthcare.		Allowing people to pay for superior services will just ensure that the free service becomes increasingly inferior. We see this with nearly every service offered to us. Remember YouTube? I now pay for an ad free version that I once received for free once upon a time ago.
Quality education is a right of all people.		An educated proletariat is necessary for true equality.
The means of production should belong to the workers who use them.		Again, abolish all private property. Follow this link for the Marxist definition of "private property."
The United Nations should be abolished.		Not only should it not be abolished, it should be greatly strengthened. We need a United Nations to combat rogue terrorist states, such as the United States and Israel.
Military action by our nation is often necessary to protect it.		The United States is an imperialist colonizer. We have the largest military in the world. We're not fighting wars of defense. This should be obvious.
I support regional unions, such as the European Union.		Sure. Unions like the EU have quite a bit of regulatory power, they also provide incentives for member states to adhere to certain baselines regarding the rights of their citizens. I should add that this is something I consider whenever contemplating the dissolution of the United States. While it might be preferable for those of us in blue states to be without the dead weight of the red states, losing the protection afforded by the federal government would put many vulnerable people at the misery of some real pieces of human garbage.
It is important to maintain our national sovereignty.		National soverignty is just an excuse for nation states to treat their people like shit and destory their evironment with immpunity. I'm immediately suspicious of any politician that utters this phrase.
A united world government would be beneficial to mankind.		Given the crises that humanity now faces--climate change, plastic and PFAS pollution, habitat destruction, resource scarcity, increasing regional conflicts--I cannot imagine a livable future without the world's nations uniting. Is this realistic? Probably not. Any such organization would also have to be structured in such a way to keep bad actors like the United States from monopolizing power. I don't see this happening.
It is more important to retain peaceful relations than to further our strength.		Obviously. Violence merely begets more violence.
Wars do not need to be justified to other countries.		Wars have no justification. They're conflicts arranged by and forced upon the people by our ruling class. The only people who benefit from them are our oppressors.
Military spending is a waste of money.		Read Major General Smedley D. Butler's pamphlet, War is a Racket. He was one of the most decorated soldiers in American military history, and he lays out precisely the function of war. It's merely another way to enrich our ruling class.
International aid is a waste of money.		Cuts made to U.S.A.I.D. by Musk's D.O.G.E. are projected to cost 14 million lives by 2030. Current estimates as of November 2025 suggest that those cuts have already led to the deaths of hundreds of thousands of the world's most vulnerable people. The ghouls responsible for these cuts are the ones whose lives are meaningless. Even if one can't see the value in helping those less fortunate, cutting aid means allowing disease to spread unchecked. Wealthy nations will be impacted.
My nation is great.		Fuck no. Fuck the USA.
Research should be conducted on an international scale.		Obviously. Not doing so simply benefits corporations who wish to profit from their discoveries. Science should be for the benefit of all humanity, not just for those who can afford to pay for it.
Governments should be accountable to the international community.		Wouldn't it be incredible if Israel, the United States, and all its vassals were held accountable for their ongoing genocide of the Palestinian people? We live in incredibly unjust world. It's really quite disheartening.
Even when protesting an authoritarian government, violence is not acceptable.		“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." -John F. Kennedy At some point violence against the state will be inevitable. Any student of history knows this.
My religious values should be spread as much as possible.		I am an atheist. While I've softened on some of my antitheistic beliefs as I've aged, I still largely view religion as a force for evil in our world. Belief systems based solely on faith are too easily used by bad actors to accumulate wealth and power to the detriment of the masses.
Our nation's values should be spread as much as possible.		Look at the current state of the world. We're living through the result of the United States spreading it "values" throughout the world. It's created a system of mass destruction that's driving our species and much of rest we share this planet with towards extinction.
It is very important to maintain law and order.		The phrase “law and order” is just a euphemism for the maintenance of hierarchy. The police are tools of capital. They exist to ensure that the poor remain poor, and the rich remain rich.
The general populace makes poor decisions.		I don't blame the masses for their poor decisions. We live in system built to pull the wool over our eyes and to keep us in captivity. It's difficult to see beyond what you've been conditioned to see from the moment you emerged from your mother's womb. We are all products of our environment, and that enviornment has been shaped by parasites who benefit from our ignorance and disunity.
Physician-assisted suicide should be legal.		God, I hope it will be legal in most places within the next few decades. I think about death often. I find no virtue in suffering. My grandmother suffered greatly in her last year. I do not want to experience what she did.
The sacrifice of some civil liberties is necessary to protect us from acts of terrorism.		I put neutral for this not because I think we should be policing individuals for some abstract fear of terrorism, but because I think we need to radically rethink what we mean by freedom in this country. Freedom should not mean that corporations are free to destroy our natural world with impunity. The real terroristic threat comes not from individuals, but from capitalists who would poison our planet's future just to fill their coffers. These people need to be seen for what they are. They're not mavericks or geniuses. They are psychopaths willing to sacrifice the rest of us for their sole benefit.
Government surveillance is necessary in the modern world.		Similar reason to the last question. We need regulations and surveillance to ensure that corporations, and perhaps individuals, are not allowed to poison our world with impunity. I do not support surveillance of the average citizen.
The very existence of the state is a threat to our liberty.		Liberty as a concept should not be thought of as boundless. Humans have caused an enormous amount of damage to the Earth and all its inhabitants. Personally, I am not wedded to the need for a state. I can imagine ways in which humans can organize ourselves without it. But if a state is to exist, it should exist in service of the Earth.
Regardless of political opinions, it is important to side with your country.		The United States is the greatest threat to life on this planet. I will never support this country.
All authority should be questioned.		Questioned but not uncritically abandoned. There are too many people abandoning science in favor of baseless beliefs in the name of sticking to the man. There are authorities worth respecting.
A hierarchical state is best.		Hierarchy inevitably leads to inequality. We each have a role to play in the furtherance of our species. Valuing the janitor less than the doctor makes no sense when the doctor cannot do their job without the janitor doing theirs.
It is important that the government follows the majority opinion, even if it is wrong.		People can be easily manipulated into believing falsehoods. Just because the majority believe something does not make it true. Governments should be driven by empiricism, not popularity.
The stronger the leadership, the better.		This question can be interpreted in a couple ways. Strong leaders who are willing to make difficult, sometimes unpopular decisions are necessary for effective governance. That's hard to argue with. However, strongman dictatorships are another thing entirely. Those are bad and are actually quite weak.
Democracy is more than a decision-making process.		Democracy requires participation. It requires an educated populace willing to inform themselves and make choices based on that information. We do not have a real democracy in the United States. That much is obvious.
Environmental regulations are essential.		If we want a future. More and more, I think humanity has given up on any sort of livable future. I have no hope for one.
A better world will come from automation, science, and technology.		Fuck no. Automation, science, and technology serve man. We've used these innovations to greatly accelrate our destruction of the natural world. We use these tools without wisdom.
Children should be educated in religious or traditional values.		If we're speaking of indigenous traditions, sure. The Abrahamic faiths? Fuck no. They do little more than enforce patriarchal and extractivist systems driving our society and planet to ruin.
Traditions are of no value on their own.		Traditions have value in how they can connect us to our past. I think about the Aboriginal people of Australia and how they can trace aspects of their culture back some 65,000 years. We who consider ourselves modern have largely lost that thread. We have no connection to our ancestors or to the natural world that birthed us. This doesn't mean, however, that all traditions are created equal. Most of us should reject the ideas and beliefs of our ancestors. I often think about my own ancestors and whether I would want to know them, or would they even want to know me. Probably not.
Religion should play a role in government.		Fantasy has no role in governance.
Churches should be taxed the same way other institutions are taxed.		Churches should be under heavy scrutiny. If they exist to serve the public good, then they should be treated as non-profits. Churches that do little more than fleece their flock should be taxed the same as any other business--or even forcibly dismantled (one can dream).
Climate change is currently one of the greatest threats to our way of life.		I wrote a whole essay about this. Check it out if you're interested in my feelings. Though, I'd imagine they're already pretty obvious from my pervious comments.
It is important that we work as a united world to combat climate change.		Climate change will not and cannot be solved with anything short of collective, global action. We need action of a level that far exceeds that taken during World War II.
Society was better many years ago than it is now.		We've made progress in some ways and regressed in others. If you're a woman, a person of color, if you're a member of the LGBTQIA+, if you're disabled, neurodivergent, or really anything other than a white, able-bodied cishet male, than its hard to argue that society would have been better for you in the past, though we're certainly beginning to regress here as well. Where we've really regressed is with the atomization of society. We're far lonelier than we were in the past. I especially see this with my students. They barely interact with each other. Instead, they bury their faces behind computers or phones. We’re quickly losing our shared reality. We've splintered off into multiple realities. Some completely incompatible with others. This is a scary time to be alive. I especially fear how AI chatbots will further this alienating trend.
It is important that we maintain the traditions of our past.		Depends on the tranditions. See this comment.
It is important that we think in the long term, beyond our lifespans.		Our lifespans are miniscule. Of course, we should be thinking of the impacts we have on the planet and the future of all life. We're not. We prioritize our own comfort at the expense of the future.
Reason is more important than maintaining our culture.		The desire to "maintain one's culture" feels like a Nazi dog whistle. Things change. It's the way of the world.
Drug use should be legalized or decriminalized.		The drug war is a tool of oppression. It has accomplished nothing but the imprisonment of innocent people and the destruction of communities.
Same-sex marriage should be legal.		Obviously. Fuck Tammy Baldwin.
No cultures are superior to others.		Indigenous cultures that prioritize harmony with nature are absolutely superior to the savagery of our extractivist culture that places ourselves at war with the Earth. When I think of the savage, I think of the white European.
Sex outside marriage is immoral.		Lol, what a silly belief.
If we accept migrants at all, it is important that they assimilate into our culture.		Funny that the people who push this nonsense are the same idiots that go around shouting about their freedom. Assimilation requires force. People who migrate to an area will bring their culture with them. That is inevitable and should be celebrated. We know what the evils of forced assimilation bring--see “American Indian boarding schools.”
Abortion should be prohibited in most or all cases.		Not only should abortion not be prohibited, it should be normalized and encouraged. People should only have children when they are ready, and should not be coerced into forced birth. Children suffer when they are not wanted, and our planet suffers when we continue to breed during times of crisis.
Gun ownership should be prohibited for those without a valid reason.		I am very much anti-gun. I view firearms as tools of destruction. They serve no purpose but to accelerate the rate at which we destroy, be that the lives of animals or of other humans. However, we're heading into a precarious time where those who have firearms are likely to oppress those without. Personally, I fear owning one myself. Guns make suicide too easy. As someone who experiences cathartic suicidal ideation from time to time, I think owning one would be a temptation. I should be clear, however, I have no desire to end my life. I am quite happy, but there are difficulties where imagining an end can bring comfort. Work, for example.
I support single-payer, universal healthcare.		People act like our current healthcare system is something worth protecting. The only reason we don’t have single-payer, universal healthcare is because there is profit in keeping us without it. Profit in keeping people sick. Profit to be made through administrative bloat. Profit in insurance companies.
Prostitution should be illegal.		Sex work is work. To be treated as such, it must be legalized and legitimized. Keeping it illegal just allows criminals to take advantage of the workers. Prostitution isn't going anywhere, at least not so long as capitalism forces us to sell ourselves to survive.
Maintaining family values is essential.		“Family values” are dog whistles for white, heteronormative, conservative values.
To chase progress at all costs is dangerous.		See our current reality. Technological progress is destroying our planet. That said, social progress, namely the desire for an inclusive society, is incredibly positive and has not gone nearly far enough.
Genetic modification is a force for good, even on humans.		I don't have much problem with GMOs when it comes to consuming them. It's silly to think they pose a health risk. However, I can imagine a situation where genetic modification leads to the creation of incredibly invasive varieties of plants and other organisms. I personally think humanity has done enough harm to this planet. I have very little faith that we will use these tools for good. Even if that's our intent, we know far too little given the impact that these tools could have on our ecosystem. Genetic modification for humans will lead to greater inequality. There's also the problem of consent. No one consents to being born, but what right do we have to modify individuals before they are even born? Technology is leading us into dystopia.
We should open our borders to immigration.		The US is responsible for an awful lot of destabilization around the world. We also, historically, own the greatest share of global CO2 emissions. We should take responsibility for our actions and welcome whoever comes to our borders seeking asylum. Of course, that will require a major change in leadership. Both Democrats and Republicans use immigrants as scapegoats for the problems caused by the wealthy ghouls who lord over us.
Governments should be as concerned about foreigners as they are about their own citizens.		This can be interpreted in a few different ways. I took it to mean that there should be no distinction when providing aid. Be they immigrant or citizen, if a person needs help, the government should provide that help. There are no illegals, only people.
All people - regardless of factors like culture or sexuality - should be treated equally.		Duh.
It is important that we further my group's goals above all others.		That's silly. Anyone who thinks this way needs to get their head out of their ass.

Upon finishing the 8values quiz, I can say with certainty that it is better than The Political Compass. It repeats some of the same statements as the latter but also includes many original and modified statements that require a bit more thought than those provided in the two-decade old quiz. Going into it, I scoffed at the inclusion of the neutral choice, thinking I wouldn't find a need to choose it; however, I ended up picking it four times over the course of the 70-question quiz. See my commentary for my reasoning.

My results were in line with what I expected. Libertarian communist is not a label I use, but I'm not opposed to it. I typically call myself a leftist. I admittedly need to read more theory. I may one day adopt a more specific label, but as of now I simply wish for the demise of capitalism.

— Two-Reeler, 13 Nov. 2025

• LeftValues
• Prism Political Quiz
• Typology Quiz by Pew Research Center